I’m not a violent guy. In fact, I abhor pain. Pain that would accompany a strong punch to the face or midsection. Maybe that’s why I watch hockey but don’t play hockey. But, when I see a Brown Recluse spider on my bathroom counter I conjure up all the rage that I can carry within in this sorta-hippie, peace-loving body of mine and squish that little sucker with such vengence I worry that I will crack the countertop and wake up my beautiful wife.
Even though I’m a fraidy cat in regards to spiders, it’s become my obligation to kill them whenever one is spotted around here. It all started when Paige and I started dating. We were on the phone one night and she saw one on her wall. Being all brave and chivalrous for my newest crush, I drove the twenty minute drive across town to kill that one for her.
I’m the spider-killing-man even though I’m screaming with fright on the inside as I lift the shoe over my head.
That Spider is a child’ish of God as well! What’s next my friend, puppies and bunny rabbits?!?!?!? You need to watch Charlotte’s Web one more time!
Hope you all are well.
Thanks, Bruce! Now I’m hungry for ham! 😉
I’m, generally, really good about spiders. It’s just the proximity of poisonous spiders to my family that I’m not too happy about.